The more I think about it, the more angry I'm getting about my testicles and tail. Why would someone want to steal them? I mean, the tail isn't such an issue (although it definitely made my wag more pronounced), but I was just beginning to enjoy having balls when they were cruelly confiscated. One minute they were there - the next minute, there they were ... gone! No wonder I'm so melancholy, and no small wonder either that food has become such a crutch.
A pet psychologist would have an absolute field day with me - how I long to go for counselling just for the chance to lie on the sofa, have my tummy stroked, and tell someone all about my puppyhood.
I demand my balls back! I know my rights!
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Murphy
ReplyDeleteIt is possible to get silicone implants these days, and no-one need know! Also, you can choose to go UP a size and therefore look even more manly than before! Give it some thought. Tail is more tricky....
Solidarity, brother
Oh if only I had the time and emotional energy to commit to cosmetic surgery! But, alas, all my efforts are concentrated on tracking down my beloved pets, and also to eating doggie treats to build up strength.
ReplyDeleteIt's a dog's life, it really is...
But I thank you for your support. Send doggie treats! Pen a protest song! Keep my plight in the media!
Solidarity!
murphy!!
ReplyDeleteyour friends in ireland send you and inspirational rebel song!! beware, for the humans stole this song for u2's song, pride. the origins, however, are purely canine and relate to the great doggie-treat rights movement of '68.
we are with you!! and are sending doggie treats!! keep the faith!!
One dog come in the name of love
One dog come and go
One come he to justify
One dog to overthrow
In the name of love
What more in the name of love
In the name of love
What more in the name of love
One dog caught on a barbed wire fence
One dog he resist
One dog washed on an empty beach.
One dog betrayed with a kiss
In the name of love
What more in the name of love
In the name of love
What more in the name of love
(nobody like you...)
Early morning, peaceful still
Treats are stolen from a dog so brave
Human foes, they took your treats
They could not take your pride
In the name of love
What more in the name of love
In the name of love
What more in the name of love
In the name of love
What more in the name of love...