When these two imposters arrived, little did they know that they would find themselves pitted against a mind as genius as mine. I'm not just a devastatingly handsome face, you see, but am far, far smarter than the average hound. They clearly have no idea who they're messing with, these dastardly humans, but my plans for retribution are finally starting to take shape.
I have finally breached the defences of their sleeping quarters. It took night after night of scratching and singing at their bedroom door - a tried and tested technique and one that that has served me well in the past. Now, I shall bide my time until I gain their trust. As they sleep soundly, I keep my vigil on my beanbag in the corner of their room and plot my revenge.
I shan't reveal any more of my plans at this stage: I've said far too much already and the internet has ears. For now, I shall allow these strange creatures to stroke my tummy, feed me biscuits, take me for recce visits around the neighbourhood and continue their ceaseless questioning. But I think we all know who's going to win this war, battle by battle, and let's face it: it's not going to be Curly Lady or Beard Man, is it?
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